My country is always right…
…on the right side of every conflict…
…right on every matter of foreign policy…
Why else would I have been born here?
Luke Skywalker was accused of ‘disturbing behaviour’ last night after admitting he attended a ceremony for a an intergalactic terrorist.
The celebrated Jedi visited a ceremony on the Forest Moon of Endor, where Sith Lord, Darth Vader, was funeralised.
A father from Fossilbrock West has written to his MP begging her to build a grammar school in his neighbourhood, because he feels his child is holding back children who ‘have a hope’.
Cecil Chalk consistently underperforms at school but does not suffer from learning disabilities or diagnosable behavioural problems.
Alternative Facts for the Chronically Disillusioned Somebody else, somewhere else, on a different day. The family of Phyllis Menhenick, 92, from Penzance, were delighted to discover that she hadn't been killed in the attack that took place at Westminster yesterday...
Millicent Maddison from Croydon has taken to social media to find out who abducted and shampooed her dog, Poochie. She believes he was taken by an Asian grooming gang whilst frolicking in a fountain just 100 yards from the cake shop where she buys his daily cupcake.
Victor Belcher, MP of Lower Wellbeing, today announced that talking about funding mental health improves mental health.
“It’s enough simply to pledge to spend more on mental health services,” he said at a recent televised conference. “We don’t actually have to do it.”
Shocking pictures have been released that show actress from 1987 film Dirty Dancing, looking considerably older than she was then. Thirty years on from her iconic role as teenager Baby Houseman, Jennifer Grey has begun to look decades older than she once did.
UKIP member Perry Peanut demanded to know why UK money had been used to perform amputations on the same Syrian woman twice, after a well-known tabloid newspaper started a rumour that foreign aid invoices were being faked in order to turn more good white-person-money into bad brown-person-money.