Alternative Facts for the Chronically Disillusioned

11-Year-Old has ‘No Potential’ Says Dad

by | May 30, 2017 | Articles | 0 comments

Somebody’s kid

A father from Fossilbrock West has written to his MP begging her to build a grammar school in his neighbourhood, because he feels his child is holding back children who ‘have a hope’.

Cecil Chalk consistently underperforms at school but does not suffer from learning disabilities or diagnosable behavioural problems. “He’s just stupid,” said father, Basil. “He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he does sometimes play with knives.”

The child’s mother, Amanda, agrees that her child has a particularly low IQ and doubts that will change.

“He’s been in school now for six years – five if you don’t include the year he was in and out of school due to illness – and he hasn’t achieved anything. I really think removing the gifted children from his class would allow those children to grow academically.”

“He’s not going to get any GCSEs,” said Basil, “so why give him false hope? The sooner he realises his lack of potential the better. Does the government really think education during those pointless 11-18 years will have any impact on his future?”

Mr Chalk was pleased to hear that Theresa May’s Conservative party have pledged to lift the ban on grammar schools. Thanks to plans to allow pupils to join grammar schools at a later date if they don’t initially qualify, telling 11-year-olds they’re not good enough to study with smart children, won’t hold them back at all.

“We’ll sit down with Cecil and explain that he didn’t get into grammar school because he’s not as clever as the other kids,” said Mrs Chalk. “I don’t think he’ll mind.”

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