Asian Grooming Gangs Shampooed My Poodle
Stock photo of a poodle, but don’t let that undermine this article.
Millicent Maddison from Croydon has taken to social media to find out who abducted and shampooed her dog, Poochie. She believes he was taken by an Asian grooming gang whilst frolicking in a fountain just 100 yards from the cake shop where she was buying his daily cupcake.
“Who else would do such a thing?” she asked. “Asia is a lawless country with people who think they can come over here and take our dogs.”
D’inkit interviewed the local Asian to find out what he knew on the matter.
“One has to feel for the dog,” he said. “Mrs Maddison dyed the poor thing bright pink.”
Poochie was returned two hours after her abduction, with her coat restored to its natural white.
A jumped-up, elitist Facebook user, Edna Educated suggested Mrs Maddison’s efforts would be better spent investigating her local extreme-right activist group, as they were the demographic most likely to be upset about a coloured dog.
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The celebrated Jedi visited a ceremony on the Forest Moon of Endor, where Sith Lord, Darth Vader, was funeralised.
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