Alternative Facts for the Chronically Disillusioned

Luke Skywalker Admits Attending Ceremony for Intergalactic Terrorist

Luke Skywalker was accused of ‘disturbing behaviour’ last night after admitting he attended a ceremony for a an intergalactic terrorist.

The celebrated Jedi visited a ceremony on the Forest Moon of Endor, where Sith Lord, Darth Vader, was funeralised.

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11-Year-Old has ‘No Potential’ Says Dad

A father from Fossilbrock West has written to his MP begging her to build a grammar school in his neighbourhood, because he feels his child is holding back children who ‘have a hope’.

Cecil Chalk consistently underperforms at school but does not suffer from learning disabilities or diagnosable behavioural problems.

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Woman Who Wasn’t There Survives Westminster Attack

Alternative Facts for the Chronically Disillusioned Somebody else, somewhere else, on a different day. The family of Phyllis Menhenick, 92, from Penzance, were delighted to discover that she hadn't...
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Asian Grooming Gangs Shampooed My Poodle

Millicent Maddison from Croydon has taken to social media to find out who abducted and shampooed her dog, Poochie. She believes he was taken by an Asian grooming gang whilst frolicking in a fountain just 100 yards from the cake shop where she buys his daily cupcake.

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Talking About Funding Mental Health Improves Mental Health, says MP

Victor Belcher, MP of Lower Wellbeing, today announced that talking about funding mental health improves mental health.

“It’s enough simply to pledge to spend more on mental health services,” he said at a recent televised conference. “We don’t actually have to do it.”

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11-Year-Old has ‘No Potential’ Says Dad

11-Year-Old has ‘No Potential’ Says Dad

A father from Fossilbrock West has written to his MP begging her to build a grammar school in his neighbourhood, because he feels his child is holding back children who ‘have a hope’.

Cecil Chalk consistently underperforms at school but does not suffer from learning disabilities or diagnosable behavioural problems.

Woman Who Wasn’t There Survives Westminster Attack

Woman Who Wasn’t There Survives Westminster Attack

Alternative Facts for the Chronically Disillusioned Somebody else, somewhere else, on a different day. The family of Phyllis Menhenick, 92, from Penzance, were delighted to discover that she hadn't been killed in the attack that took place at Westminster yesterday...

Asian Grooming Gangs Shampooed My Poodle

Asian Grooming Gangs Shampooed My Poodle

Millicent Maddison from Croydon has taken to social media to find out who abducted and shampooed her dog, Poochie. She believes he was taken by an Asian grooming gang whilst frolicking in a fountain just 100 yards from the cake shop where she buys his daily cupcake.

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My Country Is Always Right

My Country Is Always Right

My country is always right…
…on the right side of every conflict…
…right on every matter of foreign policy…
Why else would I have been born here?

Dog Hounded by TV Licensing Agency

Dog Hounded by TV Licensing Agency

A woman from Grimshot Passage was shocked when a TV Licensing enforcement officer came to inspect her dog’s ‘unpretentious’ kennel for signs that he was illegally downloading BBC programmes.

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